What a Parent Can Do When their Child is Being Bullied
Dr Janet Hall
A mother was very upset as she spoke about her eleven year old daughter who had a friend who was very possessive. The so-called friend wouldn’t let her daughter play or get close to any other girls at school. She threatened her and was mean to her. The daughter was scared to go to school.
I affirmed the mother and said:”Of course you are alarmed and want to protect your daughter. But first, take a deep breath and think about the little bully. Bullies often need to have control over others they perceive as weak because someone-else has control over them. She may have a dominant or critical mother or father who is making her life hell and so she does the same to your daughter.
Next, you must sit with your daughter and write down the details of dates, times, places and what happened. If she can, get your daughter to give you some names of witnesses. There are usually some people who have seen the bully in action but do nothing in fear that they will be next.
Then you should make an appointment with the School Principal and the class teacher.
Schools have very strict policies on bullying now (thanks goodness after all the years of ignoring the problem) and they are the best option for investigating and enforcing their policy. They may call in the bully’s parents and ask for their cooperation in teaching their daughter to be kind. You may even get an apology!”
I have a client whose daughter just started Year Seven in a new school and was bullied. The Mum went straight to the school and it was very professionally handled and solved within a week. If the Mum had tried to solve it directly by approaching the bully’s parents she may have found that she then became the victim of their hostility and denial.
Yes, trust the school and you may also ask for some counselling for your daughter. Perhaps the school will also provide counselling for the bully and her parents and some real good may come of that!