To read full article on this go to:
http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/body-soul/how-to-fight-fair-with-your-partner/story-e6frfot9-1225837019412

Hoarder hell http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-au&brand=ninemsn&playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:953d4f40-1749-4718-84da-d02c790b7166&showPlaylist=true&from=inline&fg=aca

It’s about their child Shiloh. She’s the fourth of their six children.

Qu: In a family with so many siblings, does the middle child often have to compete for their parent’s attention?
Ans: Yes – Birth order really does play a significant role in a child’s development. The middle child often gets overlooked because the elder children demand attention and the baby ones are cute and manilpulative.

Qu: Do children ever copy their parents behaviour in order to gain their attention?
Ans: Yes – they instinctively know how to “model” their parents behaviour. It’s an intuitive belief that “If you are like them they will like you.”

Qu: Is it emotionally hard for children to have so many siblings?
(Ask me says Dr Jan- I am middle of 5 girls and my Mum gave me a teddy bear and piggy bank for my 21st cos she said I missed out!)
Ans: Yes especially for the middle one who always feels not so special – squashed in between the “stars” of the show -older and smareter vs younger and cuter.

Qu: Why do daughters become Daddy’s girls? Is it a cry for attention?
Ans: A child who sees mother as preoccupied might attach to Daddy. Little girls do this because it pays off – he usually gives her more attention whereas Mum is busy.

Qu: How important is it for Shiloh to have some one-on-one time with Brad, away from all her siblings?
Ans: Every child needs one-on-one time – boys and girls. As middle child, Shiloh needs extra personal time more often.

Whatever is that mother thinking? A little girl should not be encouraged to go out in public in make-up or high heels.
Playing with old clothes at home is fine as dressups and role play but taking her out like that is sexualising a child. It is also not teaching the child to enjoy being a child.
Has Katie got an issue with her own childhood? Why would she want Suri to grow up fast?Is she over-identifying with her daughter?
She should know that making Suri conspicuously inappropriate in any way would make the paperazzi pant.
Why would she expose her child to that?
Katie is also not teaching a child good values by buying her an outrageously expensive handbag.
The other problem is it sets a bad example to other parents who will now think it is cute or cool.
Suri Cruise wearing lipstick: http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978050034
Suri Cruise with $850 handbag:http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabies/news/suri-cruise-totes-an-850-handbag-1970241
Suri Cruise in high heels http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1215037/Now-little-lady-Suri-Cruise-stops-traffic-pair-dress-heels.html

All “Troy” wanted was a happy ending. But when he busted up with his first boyfriend, quantity of sex became the source of his self-esteem. Up to 12 hours a day were devoted to masturbating and seeking unsafe sex with unattractive men. Was he a sex addict or simply highly sexed?

“An addiction is the urge to indulge in thoughts or behaviours so frequently that it interferes with normal everyday living,” says Dr Janet Hall, clinical psychologist, sex therapist, hypnotherapist, and author of Sex-Wise.

“It also has a negative impact on our essential humanity in terms of physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and economical parameters.”

She specifies negative consequences including STDs, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, suicidal ideation, bankruptcy, and relationship difficulties – all things Troy experienced.

But Dr Charles Silverstein (pictured), author of The Joy of Gay Sex, objects to the concept of sexual addiction. “Such a term is a further means of making gay men feel guilty for being gay, and we’ve had enough of that kind of oppression.

“My second general objection is the emphasis on sex instead of talking about human relationships. The gay man who tricks every night and, for instance, never sees the other man again, is not suffering from compulsive sex.

“His problem is his inability to form intimate relationships. His nightly forays probably feed his loneliness, at least until the next day when his fear of being alone drives him to find the trick of the day. He’s not suffering from compulsive sex, as if to say “bad boy,” rather it calms his fright of human relationships.”

Hall plainly doesn’t want to guilt-trip anyone about sex and she thinks a healthy high sex drive can be terrific. “With a high sex drive it’s contained, such that it’s integrated into normal living. You would rather have sex than watch TV!” Highly sexed people “plan for sex and also take advantage of spontaneous opportunities. Sex benefits them.”

Such benefits include an end to boredom, appreciating the body beyond the genitals, and it’s a recreation activity you can do wherever you and a willing partner find yourselves.

Slimming and fitness is another bonus. “A long, energetic sex session can help burn calories and keep your heart rate healthy,” Hall told blaze. “Having sex twice a week is the equivalent cardiovascular exercise of jogging 60 kilometres per year.”

People who love sex instead of needing it take better care of themselves and are happy, calm, and less stressed. Both enjoy greater success at work and work smarter, not harder.

Troy labelled himself “sex addict” and sought a solution, everywhere from religious fundamentalism to 12-step Alcoholics Anonymous-style groups. At one church, despite its homophobia, he overcame his fear of connecting to people intimately and non-sexually. He also came to realise he loves casual safe sex, but now it’s a part of his life and not an obsession.

He’s found his happy ending.

Article Source: http://www.blaze.e-p.net.au/feature/sex-addict-or-highly-sexed-2772.html

Is Valentines Day a commercial farce or an opportunity to truly celebrate a relationship?
I think Valentines Day is both – - It’s a win/win. Why not let retailers make a commercial success of a good idea to remind folks of the importance of their relationship? But don’t try to live up to or compete with the commercial hype.  Plan to have a lovely day – it does not have to be about money – just about thinking how to be loving. Be ready to show that you care .That should be easy – a phone call, a  card and flowers are all easy ways of acknowledgement.
     Let’s focus on the celebration part! Those in a good relationship can celebrate with a bonding experience. Having a special dinner or staying overnight somewhere is a way of saying “you are special and we are special”.  Is there a danger in placing too much expectation and emphasis on creating romance on that one day of the year? Of course not! It’s not just about creating romance – it’s about validating each other and the partnership.
     What can you share? Fish and chips by the sea at sunset is much more romantic than dinner at a 5 star restaurant. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and think what will they like. What can you treasure? Give them an experience that you share and not a thing – give them something they will always remember with starry starry eyes!
(My husband and I recently flew on a seaplane from Rose Bay, Sydney to the Hawkesbury River for lunch. That was a wow experience that we will never forget and highly recommended!)

     And on Valentines Day those who are not yet in relationship can think of the reasons why they are single! Maybe there are good reasons and being single is something to celebrate too

The benefits of therapy are:
1. To be truly heard (without having to listen to someone else in return). You feel then that you have some room for something else instead of having to squeeze it into an already full YOU.
2. A chance to brainstorm all sorts of options that you daren’t share with someone you know in case they would react personally .You can then discriminate which options are rational/make sense and then put them into action.
3. A chance to vent your irrational feelings. We need to have an “emotional enema” frequently so that when a real crisis occurs, we can go into the eye of the storm and keep our cool.

Richmond Hill Psychology Clinic has psychologists, counsellors and hypnotherapists who can help you spring-clean your mind!

NW chats to clinical psychologist Dr Janet Hall about the underlying motives for going under the knife repeatedly.

Is excess plastic surgery at such a young age a sign of insecurity?
It could well be that someone else would want surgery because of low self-esteem and self-criticism… but in this case, it is more a case of reality show ego-mania – more about vanity. She obviously wants to look her best self so she can continue to be of star appeal.

Why would someone so young turn to unnecessary plastic surgery?
Because she’s got the money and found the surgeon to do it!

Would you be worried if one of your clients was displaying such behaviour?
I would question their emotional and psychological maturity. I would want to know why they want to recreate themself into an artifical soapbox glamourpuss. I would teach them the depth of my favorite saying – it’s not the wrapping but the gift inside that counts.

What are the emotional repercussions excess surgery could have on Heidi in the future?
If she gets fame and fortune she might never regret it.  But why did Marilyn Monroe commit suicide? Because the fame, fortune and external beauty did not sustain her though the real world and with loving and intimate relationships.

Source: http://nwonline.com.au/celebrity/snap/heidi-addicted-to-plastic-surgery.htm

The Christian Calvin College in Michigan quizzed 2600 teens and found the 75 per cent who were smacked at ages 2-6 performed better on measures such as academic and volunteer work, college aspirations, hope and confidence than those who weren’t.

The effect was somewhat negated if the spanking continued beyond 12.

Smacking isn’t banned in Victoria but parents risk being reported to police for abuse.

Do you think it is OK to smack your child?

Focus On The Family’s Deb Sorensen said it was common sense that a tap on the bum for wilful children, if not done in anger, could help them learn right from wrong.

But she agreed other strategies were better for older children.

“It needs to be done not in anger – a single hand on the buttock, or where it’s not really going to hurt,” she said.

“Children love boundaries. They really thrive.”

Psychologist Renee Mill said it would be difficult to prove smacking worked, but it could as a “rare tool” for preschoolers.

“When a young child is about to do something dangerous, like putting their hand on a stove, a sharp smack on the hand is a behavioural tool, which associates an unpleasant feeling with their action,” she said.

But Australian Childhood Foundation CEO Dr Joe Tucci said smacking was never acceptable, and other research had found it had no effect or a detrimental effect: “It just doesn’t work. There are better ways for teaching children right from wrong.”

Family psychologist Dr Janet Hall said smacking was unlikely to work long-term, and was justified only if the child was at risk. “It’s likely children will learn from this – do you want your children to hit their kids?” she said.

Calvin College psychology professor Marjorie Gunnoe told The Sunday Times: “There are times when there is a job big enough for a dangerous tool (smacking). You just don’t use it for all your jobs.”

But author and Parentingideas director Michael Grose said other factors might have contributed to the success of effective parents who smacked. He said: “Physical discipline is not something we condone at school, within our families or any other relationship.”

High school teacher Sharon Witt was smacked as a child but wouldn’t dream of spanking Josh, 12, and Emily, 9.

Ms Witt, who is writing a book on parenting teenagers, believes “time out”, the withdrawal of privileges and grounding are less excessive and more effective.

“It’s worked really well with our kids,” she said.

“We’re trying to teach our kids not to hit each other.

“I can understand if a kid’s about to run across the road. But if someone does something wrong and you smack them … I don’t understand how they’re going to learn.”

Source: http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/smacked-children-hit-their-straps-in-teens/story-e6frf7jo-1225816065473

Question: How many lovers have you had in the past?

Answer: I was curious to have a range of experiences when I was younger, but now I’m very happy with our love-making and you.

Question: Tell me your wildest fantasy?

Answer: I used to fantasise a lot about different women, but now I seem to always find you on my mind and my fantasies are about you.

Question: Did you ever have an affair?

Answer: When I was younger, I flirted and fooled around a bit with some women at various work dinners, but I decided that that could get a bit messy. Anyway, who needs to think of anyone else now I’m with you!

CAUTION: There are two things you absolutely should tell all the truth about.
1. Your safe-sex status:have you had any sexually transmitted diseases, have you had unsafe sex with anyone?
2. Your pregnancy risk status: are you on the pill, have you had a vasectomy or a tubal ligation?