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Below are Dr Jans BLOG posts, feel free to comment.

How are mood, stress and our sex lives related?



You’re feeling down or chronically stressed. Is your sex life suffering the consequences?
Low mood, stress and our (waning) sex lives often are closely related, right? Maybe not for men; recent research has found that depression and anxiety symptoms may only be related to sexual difficulties for women. These intriguing results have sparked the interest of researchers at Macquarie University, who are now trying to get to the botom of these complex and under-researched relationships.
Their new study hopes to get between the sheets with thousands of Australian men and women to find out exactly what the relationships are between low mood, stress, and sexual problems: “We will look at the levels of these everyday difficulties in the general population, and we can then apply what we learn from this research to new treatment programs for depression, anxiety, and sexual dysfunctions. The key questions we’re interested in are: How are these disorders related over time? Does one type of disorder cause another, or are they related at a deeper level?” says Miriam Forbes, lead researcher in the study.
Understanding the direction of the relationships will mean that GPs and Psychologists will be able to more accurately screen for these disorders, and hopefully catch them before they become a severe problem, which will help minimise the negative impact on sufferers’ quality of life.
If you decide to participate in this online study, you will be asked to answer some questions about negative emotions and some aspects of sexual function at six separate time points – either once a week for six weeks, or once a month for six months. Other than the sense of fulfilment and self-satisfaction you’ll get out of helping with a research study like this, there’s also a $100 Cash Card up for grabs at every time point!
Get involved, and help understand this under-researched problem.
Go to www.moodstressandsex.com to participate, and for more information.

Bedroom action keeps us buzzing but nothing beats romance

Sarah Arvidsson and Paul Cousins celebrate their first Valentine's Day together. Picture: Craig Borrow Herald Sun

CHIVALRY is not dead or at least it shouldn’t be, according to a Herald Sun Valentine’s Day survey.

Despite liberal views on office flings and sex on a first date, some old-fashioned traditions still hold true, with half of the 2700 readers polled believing a man should always pay on a first date.

The survey revealed many of us believe there’s nothing wrong with office romances, with a third of respondents admitting they had dated a colleague.

And one in 20 respondents had hooked up with their manager.

More than half of those polled had “sexted” while almost a third of readers had dated someone they had met online.

We’re not shy in the bedroom either – a fifth of those surveyed thought it was fine to have sex on a first or second date while half had been in a friends-with-benefits relationship.

While two-thirds of those polled did not believe it was necessary to get married before children, half of those polled who weren’t married wanted a traditional big wedding with an engagement ring and reception.

When it comes to the most important attributes in a partner, honesty and a sense of humour were priorities while physical appearance and being financially well-off were at the bottom.

More than 40 per cent of respondents felt age was irrelevant when it comes to true love.

Almost 94 per cent said it was inexcusable to break off a relationship via text.

Two-thirds of respondents were between 14 and 20 when they had their first kiss.

Clinical psychologist Dr Janet Hall said she believed people were still romantics deep down and valued commitment, living together and being in love.

“I used to see young people being OK to have sex on a first date or even a first ‘hook-up’ at a pub at the end of a boozy night,” she said.

“Now I see over-50s willing to have sex on a first date after meeting on the internet.

“So values around sex have certainly loosened up.

“However most women would still be happy to be the bride in white and have a romantic honeymoon.

“Most men are happier in a loving and steady relationship too. Research shows that these men live longer.”

Why Some Women Cheat?

@Dr Janet Hall

Men and women in relationships cheat on each other in huge numbers. They always have, and they always will. There are many reasons for infidelity – some of them are easy to identify and resolve, others are not. The reactions of people who find themselves the victims of a cheating partner can also be extreme. Some turn a blind eye to their partner’s extra-marital dalliances, whereas others will turn furious with rage and are capable of wreaking terrible acts of revenge.

Just like men, women cheat in their relationships for a whole range of reasons. Women in apparently committed heterosexual and homosexual relationships are all capable of straying, however recent studies show that lesbian women generally tend to display greater loyalty towards their partners. Gay men, on the other hand, are statistically more promiscuous and more prone to cheating than all other groups.

Here, though, we shall look at five of the most common reasons why straight women in heterosexual relationships cheat on their partners.

1. Not Enough Physical Attention

A major reason for women cheating on their men is simply unfulfilling sex. Dissatisfaction in the bedroom can be a powerful trigger for a woman to look elsewhere for happiness. Let’s face it, women want sex as much as men, and in some cases – more. A woman can find herself in a relationship with a man who is more interested in football and his car than he is in making her happy sexually. Alternately, her man may want to please her in bed, but for physical reasons is incapable of doing so. If he keeps it a secret from his wife or girlfriend because he finds his inadequacies embarrassing, she may think the fault is hers and not his. If you are a man whose plumbing has stopped working as intended, immediate medical and/or psychological help is strongly recommended. Otherwise, your woman might be parking her shoes under another man’s bed before you know it.

2. Non-Sexual Physical Factors

If you work in a physically demanding job and come home hot and sweaty, and then demand sex from your woman without taking a shower, don’t be surprised if she is less than enthusiastic. And if this becomes a pattern, she will suddenly start noticing and even sniffing the cologne of attractive strange men who pass her on the street. Maybe you’ve become too lazy to shave, and your wife prefers you clean shaven. Be attentive to what it is about you that turns your wife on, and what turns her off. Sometimes just a small amount of effort here is enough to save a marriage.

3. Revenge Cheating

Tit-for-tat cheating is quite common, and easily the hardest for a man to get all worked up about. Strangely, though, some guys think it is okay for them to fool around with other women, but when their partners do exactly the same thing, these men are overwhelmed by a sense of injustice. Guys, if you cheat and then she gives you a bit of pay back, you only have yourself to blame.

4. Mental Cruelty

Sadly, some women suffer terrible psychological abuse and mental cruelty from their men. When this repeated pattern continues for years, many women will feel compelled to seek solace in the arms of another, more understanding man. If a man constantly tells his wife or girlfriend that they are worthless and ugly, they will be much more inclined to spend their time with a guy who gives them compliments and says they are beautiful.

5. She Starts to Find You Boring

If your woman starts to get bored with you, then the writing is on the wall. Lack of intellectual stimulation can be as bad as a lack of sexual attention. There are enough interesting guys out there that will take her fancy. The real risk is that she will start seeking out the “bad boys” to fill her life with excitement – even danger.

There are, of course, other reasons for cheating by women, however the causes cited above are among the most easily recognized and dealt with. That is, if you want to deal with it. In reality, some relationships are doomed from the beginning due to extreme lack of compatibility, and in such cases it is best to set the other person free. That may seem a painful choice at the beginning, but eventually both parties will be happier in the long run.

If you and your partner have issues with one or both of you cheating, and you want it to stop, then advice from a qualified counsellor or sex therapist, such as Dr. Janet Hall, could be a valuable first step towards saving your relationship.

___________________________________

Cam Langdon is an expert in online dating. On his website, Cam provides free dating tips to men who want to meet women online. His free e-book, Turn Cyber Sex Into Reality, has already been downloaded and read by thousands of men around the world. Cam’s dating advice is easy to understand and implement.

www.onlinedatingtipsformen.com

What’s The Solution For A Woman Who Won’t Have Sex?

@Dr Janet Hall
The hottest problem I am seeing turn up in the clinic is the sad and rejected man whose woman is just not interested in sex.
One of the biggest questions is – what should he do?
Should he leave, how does he coach her when she sees it as pressure, should he start an affair, should he go to a massage parlour, should he surf the internet for porn or does he just have to make do with masturbation?
It’s a real lose/lose situation.
Anyone with a story/solution is welcome to send me their story!

Go here if you are a man who wants real help in sparking up your woman’s sex drive.
http://www.drjanethall.com/Sex-Therapy-Men/How-to-Spark-Up-Your-Woman-s-Sexual-Desire-audio.html

On this audio recording you’ll hear Dr. Janet Hall’s expert advice for men on experiencing sensational sex with the emphasis on Sparking Up Your Woman’s Sexual Desire. This is specifically designed for a man whose woman is not much interested in sex.
Because the woman may take exception to what she many perceive as manipulation, it is recommended that the man listens to this recording in private for quite a few sessions and jots down a strategic plan, before putting the ideas into practice or asking his partner to listen to the ideas suggested.

If the man does want to enrol his partner, it is highly recommended that you both listen first to another recording in the Sensational Sex audio recording Series – How To Solve Sex-Drive Conflicts. You’ll learn some valuable tips on how to communicate together so that you can resolve conflicts of interests and achieve that sex-life you deserve together.

The recording gives important information of the nature of Sexual Desire, some examples of loss of desire in women, the 3 types: Women who don’t, Women who can’t and Women who won’t.

The common difficulties encountered by the man who wants to spark up his woman and the, do’s and don’ts, for action he many choose to put into effect.

It also has some hypnotic suggestions for you to help you cope with anxiety about whether she will and the rejection when she won’t.

By the way, some folk have found that sexual fantasies can be a valuable adjunct in stimulating their sex-lives, and you many also find another of the recording in Dr. Janet Hall’s Sensational Sex Series useful in your search for a Spark For Your Woman’s Sex-Drive. You’ll find this on Jan’s CD: Sensational Sex Fantasies For Women: Seductive Fantasies to Fire-Up Your Sex-Life.

Finally, there is a segment where Jan speaks directly to your partner to encourage her to expand her sexual experiences with you. In a heart-felt and non-threatening manner, Jan will help your partner see that all you want is a loving sex-life and that both of you deserve to be enjoying Sensational Sex.

Be well, Be happy, Love life and Enjoy a Sensational Sex -life!

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