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Below are Dr Jans BLOG posts, feel free to comment.
Below is an article by Brené Brown I recently read in O/Oprah’s magazine. Instead of living with worry for the future, Brené talks about living in the now-and being grateful and joyful in/for the present.
Any articles I can find and read on letting go of negative thoughts of the past-regrets and shame-, and also of worry, stress, and anxiety of the future, I love to print/cut out and keep to re-read from time to time. In the bigger picture, this letting go can lead to more positive thinking and more enthusiasm for life.
Dare to Feel Joy
lf you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, says Brené Brown, you’re missing out.
She says: I USED TO STAND OVER MY TWO KIDS while they slept, and just as a profound sense of love and joy washed over me, I’d imagine horrible things happening to them: car crashes, tsunamis.
Do other mothers do this, I’d wonder, or am I unhinged?
I now know from my research that 95 percent of parents can relate to my constant disaster planning. When we’re overwhelmed by love, we feel vulnerable-so we dress-rehearse tragedy.
Though I study scary emotions like anger and shame for a living, I think the most terrifying human experience is joy. It’s as if we believe that by truly feeling happiness, we’re setting ourselves up for a sucker punch.
The problem is, worrying about things that haven’t happened doesn’t protect us from pain. Ask anyone who has experienced a tragedy; they’ll te11 you there is no way to prepare. Instead, “catastrophizing”, squanders the one thing we all want more of in life. We simply cannot know joy without embracing vulnerability-and the way to do that is to focus on gratitude, not fear.
The good news is that joy, collected over time,fuels resilience-ensuring
We’ll have reservoirs of emotional strength when hard things do happen.
Stop the train. The next time you’re traumatized by “What ifs,” say aloud, “I
am feeling vulnerable.”
This sentence changed my life. It takes me out of my fear brain-i.e., off the
crazy train-and puts me back on the platform, where I can make a conscious choice not to reboard.
Be thankful. Recently, when a turbulent flight caused me to start planning my own funeral, I remembered something I’d learned in my research:
Joyous people are grateful people.
So I used the fear alarm in my head as a reminder to feel grateful for my kids, my husband, and my work.
Even more effective: Speak your gratitude aloud to others, or write it in your journal.
The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University .
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
The average person over 60 years of age cannot do it!
1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I bet you cannot resist passing it on.
Dr Janet Hall was interviewed for an article in OK! magazine about the battle of custody that follows divorce, and the addition of new partner’s/step parents.
This article was published on the 29th of October, 2012 after the recent discovery that many celebrity couples have gone through divorce and are fighting about it in front of their children including:
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubrey, JLo and Mark Anthony,
Guy Ritchie and Madonna and Heidi Klum and Seal…
Australian Psychologist Dr Janet Hall believes accepting a new person in your child’s life is easier said than done. ‘It really hurts to see your child grow close to your ex’s new love. You fear you will be displaced, the jealousy can make someone try to turn their children against the new person.’
‘Seeing an ex’s new lover having “play time” with your children can leave a parent feeling humiliated and envious,’ Dr Hall explains. ‘It can be enough to make someone do something irrational.’
Dr Hall warns that drawn-out slanging matches – especially between high profile parents – can do serious damage to children caught in the middle. ‘The public exposure allows children no protection from judgement of others. They might feel very humiliated and angry.’
Dr Hall believes a few rules can help blended families find a way through the mud-slinging. ‘Respect your ex and always reinforce them as a good person and good parent for your children, be fair and reasonable.’
1. Stay Positive. You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible or you can trust that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible.
2. Take a morning walk of gratitude. I call it a “Thank You Walk.” It will create a fertile mind ready for success.
3. Make your first meal the biggest and your last meal the smallest. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid.
4. Zoom Focus. Each day when you wake up in the morning ask: “What are the three most important things I need to do today that will help me create the success I desire?” Then tune out all the distractions and focus on these actions.
5. Talk to yourself instead of listen to yourself. Instead of listening to your complaints, fears and doubts, talk to yourself and feed your mind with the words and encouragement you need to keep moving forward.
6. Remember that adversity is not a dead-end but a detour to a better outcome.
7. Don’t chase dollars or success. Decide to make a difference and build meaningful relationships and success will find you.
8. Get more sleep. You can’t replace sleep with a double latte.
9. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in your purpose, people and the positive present moment.
10. Mentor someone and be mentored by someone.
11. Live with the 3 E’s. Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.
12. Remember there’s no such thing as an overnight success. There’s no substitute for hard work.
13. Believe that everything happens for a reason and expect good things to come out of challenging experiences.
14. Implement the No Complaining Rule. Remember that if you are complaining, you’re not leading.
15. Read more books than you did in 2013.
16. Don’t seek happiness. Instead decide to live with passion and purpose and happiness will find you.
17. Focus on “Get to” vs “Have to.” Each day focus on what you get to do, not what you have to do. Life is a gift not an obligation.
18. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:
I am thankful for __________.
Today I accomplished____________.
19. Smile and laugh more. They are natural anti-depressants.
20. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy it.
Written and shared by best selling author and friend Jon Gordon
- See more at: http://www.profitgroove.com/20-tips-for-a-positive-new-year/#sthash.vzYeeeBO.dpuf