Invest in some therapy to clean out your emotional cobwebs and have a fresh start. Therapy is fantastic because you can use the therapist as an objective sounding board and they won’t judge. No matter how good a friend/work colleague/sister  is as a listener, eventually they might use something you shared in confidence against you. (and they do judge!)

The benefits of therapy are:
1. To be truly heard (without having to listen to someone else in return). You feel then that you have some room for something else instead of having to squeeze it into an already full YOU.
2. A chance to brainstorm all sorts of options that you daren’t share with someone you know in case they would react personally .You can then discriminate which options are rational/make sense and then put them into action.
3. A chance to vent your irrational feelings. We need to have an “emotional enema” frequently so that when a real crisis occurs, we can go into the eye of the storm and keep our cool.

Richmond Hill Psychology Clinic has psychologists, counsellors and hypnotherapists who can help you spring-clean your mind! Read More »

Reality star Heidi Montag has admitted to People magazine that, at the ripe old age of 23, she is addicted to plastic surgery. Undergoing 10 procedures in one day, the starlet says the painful journey was in a bid to become “the best me”.

NW chats to clinical psychologist Dr Janet Hall about the underlying motives for going under the knife repeatedly.

Is excess plastic surgery at such a young age a sign of insecurity?
It could well be that someone else would want surgery because of low self-esteem and self-criticism… but in this case, it is more a case of reality show ego-mania – more about vanity. She obviously wants to look her best self so she can continue to be of star appeal. Read More »

CHILDREN smacked by their parents may become more successful as teens than those who weren’t, according to recent US research.

The Christian Calvin College in Michigan quizzed 2600 teens and found the 75 per cent who were smacked at ages 2-6 performed better on measures such as academic and volunteer work, college aspirations, hope and confidence than those who weren’t.

The effect was somewhat negated if the spanking continued beyond 12. Read More »

HOW MUCH SHOULD YOU SHARE OF YOUR SEXUAL PAST?
Dr Janet Hall
I recommend that “open communication” is not necessarily the same as totally honest communication – which I call “the overwhelming truth”.
Open communication involves deliberately telling your partner how you feel, what you want and what you don’t want, but only in a positive and constructive way.
Overwhelming truth  means that you may be  hurtful or down right stupid in giving “too much information.”
For instance, don’t spill the beans about the time you had a threesome with strangers. This kind of admission can backlash on you for the rest of relationship (which could actually be very short once you’ve told the total truth).
The overwhelming truth may back-fire because it hurts the other person’s feelings unnecessarily. In other words don’t be tactless and don’t leave yourself open to emotional blackmail because you have shared too much.
Resist your urges to find out everything and resist your partner’s manipulation to get it all out of you. Keep the mystery up but don’t give yourself away. Give vague answers if your partner really pushes for a response. Then reassure your partner that you love her/him.
Here’s some helpful answers to probing questions about your past:

Question: How many lovers have you had in the past?

Answer: I was curious to have a range of experiences when I was younger, but now I’m very happy with our love-making and you.
Read More »