Dr Janet Hall

Why you need to introduce ‘outercourse’ into your sex life, IMMEDIATELY.

Intercourse’s claim as the be-all-end-all of sex may be about to take on a challenger.

Introducing ‘outercourse’. You probably haven’t heard the word before, but we’re betting you’ve experienced it – especially if you are someone who doesn’t orgasm through penetrative sex alone.

Research from the Centre for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University found that of the 1055 women aged 18 to 94 surveyed only about one in five (18 per cent) reached an orgasm through intercourse alone.

The other 82 per cent of women? Well, they needed something else. They needed outercourse: kissing, massaging, using vibrators, touching erogenous zones, clitoral stimulation, oral sex or toe-sucking. Basically, everything else that might come with sex, but isn’t penetration.

“But isn’t that just foreplay?”, you ask. Well, not really. For the 36 per cent of women surveyed who only orgasm with clitoral stimulation, (as well as the further 36 per cent who say it enhances sex), it’s an integral part of the main event – not just a precursor that can be skipped if necessary.

And that’s why we need to start changing the way we think and talk about sex, says sex therapist and clinical psychologist Dr Janet Hall.

Dr. Hall tells Mamamia the problem with using the term “foreplay” to describe all the other stuff that isn’t penetration is that it signals that it’s not important to the female orgasm – and it very much is.

“Penetration is the male model of ideal sex and they forget that it is the journey and not the destination that is most to be enjoyed,” the Melbourne-based sex therapist says.

Dr. Hall says her data – collected over 15 years through a questionnaire on her website – mirrors the US research, finding that only 20 per cent of women orgasm through intercourse.

 

“In my clinic, most women say they need clitoral stimulation from any source in order to have an orgasm. Though some can have internal stimulation by partner’s fingers or by vibrator or dildo and have G-spot and A-spot (near cervix) orgasms,” she says.

Dr. Hall says women can feel embarrassed or ashamed when they can’t orgasm thanks to penetration alone and this shame can push a woman to fake an orgasm – just to please her partner.

“This is fed by movies and novels where the woman appears to have an orgasm by being breathed on,” she says.

“Young men are also very ignorant about women and how to facilitate her orgasm. Because a man doesn’t give his partner an orgasm, he facilitates it.”

Dr. Hall blames the single narrative of foreplay-then-intercourse on the fact that our idea of sex is still skewed towards men and their experience of sex.

Backing this up is the most common answer to the question on her survey: “How do you know the sex is finished?” It’s something along the lines of “when the man has ejaculated” –, especially inside a vagina.

“Sex should be about giving and receiving pleasure to the entire body – not just genitals and certainly not just inside the vagina,” she says, adding that the vagina doesn’t even have many pleasurable cells.

In fact, Dr. Hall says some couples she sees will agree to not include penetration in every second sex session, so they can “take their time in exploring total body pleasure”.

Dr. Hall’s advice for women who want to enjoy sex more is pretty simple: have fun with it and don’t expect to ever have sex “mastered”.

“Read books and find websites online which encourage you to try different things out. Use your imagination.”

“It should be a lifetime interest! No-one ever really masters sex. It is a never-ending experience, full of surprise.”

http://www.mamamia.com.au/what-is-outercourse/


Could You Or Someone You Love Be A Shopaholic with a Compulsive Spending Problem?

Clinical psychologist Janet Hall reveals Compulsive Buying Disorder symptoms

  • Also include accumulating debt, using shopping to escape negative feeling
  • Shopaholics often have an underlying disorder, like anxiety or depression
  • Recommends replacing shopping with something healthy like meditation

Everyone knows the thrill of the feel of a new dress, the excitement of a fresh pair of boots for autumn, the first smack of a recently purchased lip gloss.

But for some the thrill of shopping can be all consuming, even life ruining.

Many have joked from time to time that they’re addicted to spending, but one in 12 Australians are actually shopaholics.

Australian clinical psychologist Dr Janet Hall appeared on the Today show on Wednesday to reveal the symptoms of Compulsive Buying Disorder, also known as onomania.

⇐ CLICK ON VIDEO TO WATCH

Dr Hall revealed that the CBD is ‘not necessarily’ a psychological disorder on its own, but is reflective of an ‘underlying disorder’.

‘Usually anxiety, anger management, depression or low self-esteem,’ she said. ‘But it is a real compulsion.’

Dr Hall noted that many people with CBD hide their purchases from their loved ones and use multiple credit cards to buy things.

‘They use the shopping as a way of being somebody they’re not,’ she said. ‘They get their sense of power out of it.’

This is easier than ever in today’s age of online shopping, where people with a credit card can buy things 24/7 without their loved ones having a clue.

‘No one will know that you’ve done that,’ Dr Hall said, ‘That you’ve blown all that money.’

Dr Hall noted that many people with CBD hide their purchases from their loved ones and use multiple credit cards to buy things

‘And you have a real sense of, momentarily, I am the powerful one, I have chosen this and I’ll have as many as I want.’

‘Often they don’t even need these things and they may already have a lot of them.’

Additional symptoms of CBD include accumulating debit, a breakdown in your relationships and using shopping to to escape negative feelings.

‘They are definitely compensating for their anxieties and depressions, and when they try to stop they can’t,’ Dr Hall said.

But how can you tell the difference between someone who enjoys shopping to someone who actually has a problem?

Symptoms of CBD include accumulating debit, a breakdown in relationships and using shopping to to escape negative feelings

Dr Hall revealed that it’s the consequences that come afterward that can reveal if someone actually has a condition.

‘Serious consequences are you’re in so much debt you can’t even pay your bills, and people are telling you that you need real support and real counselling,’ she said.

Dr Hall said the first step to treating CBD is owning up to the fact that you’re a shopaholic and identifying what triggers it.

‘What is it that pushes you to want to go shop? What are the needs you’re seeking to be filled,’ Dr Hall said.

‘Do you need some companionship, do you need a massage, do you need some loving touch, do you need some rest and relaxation?’

Dr Hall recommends replacing shopping with something healthier, like meditation or exercise, as well as getting support.

‘Financially, you need someone who knows what to do and minimise your debts, and you need someone who loves and cares for you but will make you be accountable.’

COULD YOU BE A SHOPAHOLIC?

Compulsive Buying Disorder is often seen with mood, anxiety or eating disorders, as well as substance abuse.

It often appears in the late teens or early twenties, and is usually chronic.

Symptoms include:

-Accumulating Debt

-Hiding purchases from loved one

-Breakdowns in relationships between friends and family

-Compensating for negative feelings by buying things

-Trying to stop shopping but unable to
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4468162/Signs-shopping-addiction.html#ixzz4hHF1fPlF
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

By Anneta Konstantinides For Daily Mail Australia

PUBLISHED: 12:30 +10:00, 3 May 2017 | UPDATED: 12:30 +10:00, 3 May 2017


PLEASE SHARE DR JAN’s BIG WIN “FROM LOVING RELATIONSHIPS TO DODGING DODGY PEOPLE” © Dr Janet Hall

Have you ever written down a goal and put the bit of paper aside but every now and then you saw it and wondered if it would ever come true?

In 1991 I was a very sad newly-single mother of two but I was determined to be successful on my own and made a list of my goals .I made a self-hypnosis audio for myself to listen to my goals as I went to sleep at night.

One of those goals was to be invited to speak at the Million Dollar Round Table annual conference –the biggest in the world for Finance Consultants

As the years passed I read my list of goals every New Year and noted that some had come true. I was presenting on radio and television regularly. I had developed audio-programs and written books that were selling consistently. As a speaker I had presented on topics ranging from parenting to conflict resolution and of course goal-setting. I had written the manual for a software program called Goal Maker.

AND THERE WERE LEARNINGS ABOUT TRUSTING THE WRONG PEOPLE AND NOT HAVING SENSIBLE PERSONAL JUDGEMENT WITH INVESTMENT IN VARIOUS PROJECTS.
“WE LIVE WE LEARN.”

Now here’s where I begin to get tingles down my spine. Seventeen years later I went to my laptop on a cold dark winter’s morning and opened an email which said “You have been invited to speak at the Million Dollar round Table in Indianapolis, USA in June 2009”.

The speaker-seeker had found me on the web!
The topic? GREAT SEX IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP!

It was a grand success with me presenting to a full house twice!
However…it was somewhat “over the top” for financial consultants – so I was asked to submit another topic.

Note the learnings ABOUT TRUST I highlighted in red above?

Well I am very proud to announce that I am speaking for the MDRT again this year at Orlando on 7th June – the topic is – DODGING DODGY PEOPLE: SAVE YOUR TIME, MONEY AND HEARTACHE

See this link –http://www.imdrt.org/2017am/2017/template2.php?id=39

And stay tuned for Free Webinars which I will present online so YOU can learn from and ENJOY!

Best,
​​​​​​​Dr Jan


Women’s Health & Fitness Summit

Dr Janet Hall will be speaking at the Women’s Health & Fitness Summit in Melbourne in October 2017. Her topic is “Understanding and Facilitating The Elusive Orgasm”.


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